Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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