She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
