I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
