I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
