is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
