I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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