Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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