Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize