i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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