Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize