no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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