Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
