my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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