eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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