Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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