Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize