mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
are you so shy because you have an std?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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