So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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