were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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