Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
