we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
