how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
