If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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