Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This is the high leading the old right now
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
