I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're my little dorito
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize