Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
