That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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