I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
