She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
