i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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