You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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