Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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