no, he came in my armpit
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
