I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh god it's open bar.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize