So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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