We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
