Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it was like eating out sand paper
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
