Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The best revenge is premature balding
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
