I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
