She went from zero to smokin in five shots
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
