He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
