the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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