It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
