So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
