Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
