Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
