New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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