he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
