Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
