If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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