Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize