Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
