I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
only you would photoshop your dick
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
