ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize