How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
