zippers are such a cool invention
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
