ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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