Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
