May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
