I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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