You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize