this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
