She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
