Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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